May 19, 2015
The moment I wake I wonder where Emma is waking up and at night, as I fall asleep, I wonder if she has a safe place to lay her head. These are just two of the thoughts that keep me awke at night…wondering, worrying, feeling sick about this situation. People tell me all the time how well I’m doing and I guess, considering the circumstances, I am, but I have slipped into a quiet, subdued kind of madness. I can’t have a “normal” day. I don’t laugh like I use to. Smiling is a struggle. Going out in public unnerves me. My heart goes out to all the families living a similar nightmare. Every single day you hope that it will be THE day and I wonder how many more days one can hope but I believe I can hope forever. I know I must otherwise there is nothing but an empty space. Hope and perseverance keep Emma alive in my heart.